Hilarity at the Hall of Origins
by Devanor
Summary: The legendaries often spend time in the Hall of Origins when they aren't immediately needed. So what does happen when they're all gathered up? Take a peek into the (rather normal) life of a legend. (I upped the rating to T due to mentioning of alcohol in chapter 4, and because I'm paranoid.)
1. Mewtwo, Mew and Darkrai

**Mewtwo POV**

Peace and quiet is not something Mewtwo can enjoy often, so whenever he gets the chance, he enjoys it to the fullest, reading a good book in his favorite sofa.

You'd wonder why there would even be a human-sized sofa in the Hall of Origin, when a strong majority of the legends living there are either bigger (Arceus himself, his creation trio among others) or smaller (Mew, Jirachi and Victini, only mentioning a few) or outright differently shaped (Cresselia, Darkrai etc.), but the reason for that is actually quite simple: most of the legends take a human shape while in the hall. Mewtwo, already having a human-esque physique, is in no need to do such.

"Mewmew!" a voice yelled as the door to his room opened. Mewtwo groaned in frustration, of course Mew had to ruin everything, as always.

"What do you want, Mew? Can't you see I'm busy?" If there is one thing you can say about Mewtwo, it's that he does not enjoy being interrupted. But really, who does?

"I'm bored, Mewmew! Play with me!" _I am one of the strongest legends in the halls, only surpassed by Arceus himself and his trio, and you see me as nothing more than a playmate?_

"I said I'm busy, go ask Jirachi or something."

"No can do, Jira went to sleep three days ago."

 _Right, I forgot. While the 'rumor' humans made states that Jirachi sleeps for a thousand years, he actually only sleep for a few days, but like Mew he's seen so seldomly people actually believe him to be asleep in a different dimension or something._

"What about Celebi?"

"Bibi is patrolling the timelines."

"...Victini?"

"Playing poker with Shaymin, Meloetta and Manaphy."

"Seriously? How can they not know Victini will win regardless? He's not called the 'victory pokemon' for nothing!"

"And yet you asked me to play with him?" Mew asked with a curious look.

Mewtwo grunted in response. "You don't care about who wins, as long as you get to play."

"True."

"Then what about Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf?"

"Playing Smash Bros."

Mewtwo was getting a headache at this point. "...Fine. How about hide and seek?"

"Yay!"

"I'll do the seeking. The hiding place is anywhere within the halls. Get going."

Mew teleported immediately at his command, and Mewtwo returned to his book.

* * *

 **A few hours pass**

* * *

"Mewtwo?" a new voice asked.

Looking up, Mewtwo saw it was Darkrai in his human form. Featuring a black t-shirt, black jeans, black hair and blue eyes, it was almost impossible to misstake him for another legend. "You need something?"

"Yeah, actually, have you seen Mew recently?"

"Not since this morning, no. Why?"

"Cresselia said she wanted to talk to her, and figured she would play with you since the others she usually play with are doing something else."

"Well, as I said, I did see her this morning. We're currently playing hide and seek."

Darkrai raised an eyebrow. "You're playing hide and seek? While reading a book?"

"I'm currently counting."

"What number are you currently at?"

"Twelve thousand four hundred and sixy nine."

"...To where are you counting?"

"One billion."

"..." Darkrai simply sighed. "I guess I'll have to wait until lunch. Mew never miss a meal."

* * *

 **I realized... that no one either noticed, know, cares or couldn't be arsed to mention a fact I was wrong about. Darkrai's eyes are blue, not red!**


	2. Rayquaza, Groudon, Kyogre and Deoxys

**Aaaaaaand SECOND CHAPTER! Man, I'm on a roll!**

* * *

 **Rayquaza POV**

They had been calm for a while now. Too calm in fact. This must be what the humans referr to as 'the calm before the storm'.

"COME BACK HERE YOU CHEATER!" The red-haired boy yelled.

"YOU AIN'T GOT PROOF!" The blue-haired girl responded while running.

 _And here we go again..._ Rayquaza thought.

"No proof? NO PROOF?! You shot me through the Arceus-damned wall! If that isn't cheating I don't know what is!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did-"

"ENOUGH, BOTH OF YOU!" Rayquaza boomed. Wasn't it enough that he had to make sure they didn't bring about the end of the world for the mortals? "Now what are you fighting over this time?"

"We were playing CS:GO and ended up on different teams in the same match," Groudon began, "and -someone- used a cheat to shoot me despite being behind a wall!"

"I didn't cheat!"

"Yes you did!"

"Did not!"

"Did-"

"SILENCE!" _Are these two seriously ancient legends capable of bringing about the end of the world? You'd think they would be more mature..._ "I don't know who is right or wrong, nor do I care. If you fight one more time before lunch, I'll make sure you don't get any dinner tonight!"

Groudon and Kyogre shut up at that. Being denied a meal was possibly the worst punishment you could be issued in the hall. And unfortunately, Rayquaza had that kind of autorithy. At least over them...

"I am not saying you can't have fun, just don't fight over every little thing. Understood?"

"Yes uncle..." They said in unison.

Why they had taken to calling him 'uncle' perplexed Rayquaza, but as long as they obeyed he didn't really care.

As he turned to leave, Rayquaza sensed an ill omen, and jumped back(almost knocking down the pair of legends he had just scolded), narrowly avoiding a Hyper Beam. Looking to the side, Rayquaza saw his assailant(albeit he could already guess who it was).

Deoxys.

"You -are- aware that violence in the hall is prohobited, right, Deoxys?" Rayquaza asked the absolutely furious DNA pokemon.

"You will PAY!" was all he got as answer.

Rayquaza sighed. He knew fully well why Deoxys was angry, but not why he hadn't gotten over it. It'd been nearly a decade since the incident, for Arceus sake! "Isn't it about time you get over it, Deoxys? It was just a rock in space..."

"IT WAS MY HOME!"

"ON A COLLISION COURSE WITH EARTH I MIGHT ADD!"

The two still ended up in combat- or rather, wrestling- actively trying to choke eachother.

Meanwhile, the two members of the weather trio stood there, watching the so-called 'mature' legends trying to murder eachother for what they considered no reason.

"You know..." Groudon began.

"Hmm?"

"Seeing them fight like this..."

"...Makes you realize how childish our fights are?"

"Yup. So..."

"...We're going to break them up?"

"One..."

"...Two..."

"...Three!"

"Primal Reversion!" They shouted in unison. As the form change ended, they both prepared their respective attacks.

"Precipice blades/Origin Pulse!"

The DNA pokemon and the leader of the weather trio didn't notice until it was too late, and was properly knocked unconscious. Groudon and Kyogre looked at eachother.

"So," Groudon began again, "now what?"

"Another game of CS:GO, but as teammates?"

"You're on!"

* * *

 **Thanks to Drakenstar78, I got enough material for this chapter, what with the fight between Rayquaza and Deoxys (however short).**


	3. Arceus, Giratina, Palkia and Dialga

Arceus, the Alpha Pokemon, also known as God, the Creator, and...

 **Pling**

...Master Chef?

"It's done!" Arceus exlaimed happily. Baking in it's true form is difficult, so it took the form of a human female. Long, silver hair tied in a horsetail to make sure it's not in the way, Arceus is dressed to mirror it's true form: mostly white with golden lines on it's shoes.

"Smells delicious, Arceus." Giratina said from the side. Appearing as a male, Giratina is dressed in gray pants, a black and red striped jacket, with blond, short hair.

"Hey Gira, can you bring me the frosting? There should be one in the fridge."

"Right-o." Giratina answers before opening it. "Huh? Mew?"

"H-h-h-ello G-Gira!"

"Mew... why are you in the fridge?"

"I-I-I'm playing h-hide and se-e-ek with Mewm-m-mew!"

"Mewmew? ...Ah! Mewtwo?"

"That's w-w-what I-I said!"

"Surely there're better places to hide than here?"

"N-no one would look In a-a f-fridge!"

"I'm pretty sure no one would actually HIDE in a fridge... now get out of there, I need the frosting and it's getting cold."

"NO! T-this is m-my hiding place!"

Giratina sighs as he takes the frosting and closes the fridge door. "Suit yourself."

Arceus looks at Giratina. "Gira?"

"Yeah?"

"Was that..."

"Yup..."

"In..."

"Yup..."

Arceus facepalms. Sometimes, it wondered if Mew's head is nothing more than a hat-hanger. Hiding in the fridge? Seriously?

"Palkia, Dialga." Arceus muttered, but it's two nearest 'children' heard and appeared immediately.

"Here, my Lord." Palkia said.

"Present, my Lord." Dialga continued.

 _Did they just make a pun, or am I overthinking it?_ Arceus wondered to itself. "Go tell the rest of the hall's inhabitants that dinner is ready, will you?"

"At once, my Lord!" They said in unison. Arceus nearly sneered at them.

"How many times have I told you to stop be so formal to me in the hall? And what's with the 'Lord'? I'm currently female, the least you could do is call me according to my current gender!"

Palkia and Dialga just looked at eachother before vanishing into their respective portals.

"Don't run away while I'm talking to you!"

Giratina simply sweatdropped at the sight. The God of the world had issues disciplining it's own 'children'. "You sure have it hard, don't you, Arceus?"

"You don't know half of it..."

* * *

 **Another chapter filled with some random stuff I thought of. Mew still playing hide and seek with Mewm- I mean Mewtwo, and Arceus... is baking a cake?**


	4. Kyurem, Zygarde and their trios

**Notice: this chapter contains mentioning of excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages! Don't read if you are below 18, or, heed the advice that alcohol should NEVER be consumed in large quantities!**

* * *

As per the legends request, Arceus made a bar in case a drink was needed, either for relaxation or for celebration. And currently, we find one legend sitting in the bar, drinking amounts that would've killed a human long ago.

 **Kyurem POV**

"Another!" I yelled at Genesect, who was at bar duty.

"Uh... Kyurem? Maybe you should chill a little..."

"ANOTHER!"

"Alright alright, coming right up!" Genesect said before leaving, probably because I had emptied the storage. In my defense, I need it right now.

A plinging sound followed the doors opening, and a fellow trio leader entered the bar.

"Oh, Kyurem! Sure wasn't yesterday."

"Zygarde... not often you come to the bar..."

Zygarde sighed. "No, but I really need to relax abit, my duties are killing me."

"What happened now?"

"Yveltal decided to 'prank' Xerneas by turning her favorite flowers to stone."

Kyurem raised an eyebrow at that. "Can't she just revive them? She -is- the goddess of life, no?"

"Yveltal mentioned that, but her retort was that, and I quote: "what's the point of doing something if you don't put any effort into it? Raising flowers with my ability to give life would be no different from cheating in games!". Following that, she demanded an excuse, he refused because her reasoning was silly, nevermind that his prank was even more so, and it ended with the sixth wing of the hall turning into a jungle with an occasional spot with rotting greenery... which I had to clean up after breaking them up."

"Ouch... you punished them I suppose?"

Zygarde scoffed. "Obviously. They will get no dessert."

"Now that's harsh. The only thing that's better than Arceus' food is the dessert she makes."

"At least they will get dinner, I almost considered taking that from them too. But enough of that. Why are you here, Kyurem?"

"Zekrom and Reshiram, do I need to say more...?"

"Did they fight again?"

I snorted. "Do they ever not? No, the problem is -why- they fight."

"Uh-huh?"

"Recently, they have fought for literally no reason, and they do as soon as they see each other. But some time ago, I managed to find out while breaking them up."

"How'd you do that?"

"Please... don't ask..."

"Uh... Ok... So, what'd you find out?"

"They have both experienced some alien feeling when they see or think of the other."

"And what's the feeling then?"

"Let me ask you a question in turn."

"Go on."

"You are aware that me, Zekrom and Reshiram were once a single entity, right?"

"Yup?"

"As such, we can be seen as siblings, and the dragon we once were could be our father/mother, or whatever"

"Ok?"

"The feeling they have for each other, if we are siblings, would be considered taboo."

"Taboo feeling for sibli- Oh. Oh no..."

"Yeah. They are not aware of it yet though. They don't understand the feeling, so they fight in hope of the feeling mysteriously explaining itself, or disappearing. So now, I have to break them up whenever they meet for the rest or eternity, or, Arceus forbids, they realize their feelings for each other and get more... intimate."

"... I can see why you've resorted to drinking."

Genesect had finally returned with supplies, and filled my glass. "One for Zygarde too, please. Put it on my tab."

As he got his glass, we looked at each other, downed our drinks at once before stating the obvious in unison.

"BEING A TRIO LEADER SUCKS!"

* * *

 **Magicanus asked for what became the first half of this chapter, while the other half was my own idea inspired from The Poke Spectre's "Legends in a new World", where Zekrom and Reshiram are secretly in love but pretend to hate each other. Here, they aren't aware of their feelings for each other, and so they fight in the confusion.**


	5. Lugia, Ho-oh and Hoopa

**While this chapter may contain adult references, there's nothing explicit, so it's safe to read for younger audiences.**

If there is one thing Lugia likes, it's days like this where all legends are gathered in the hall. That means no duty, which means... sleeping in! Yet, Lugia couldn't help but feeling that something was wrong. Opening his eyes, he quickly noticed one thing was odd.

 _Last I checked, my ceiling was blue, not orange..._ Also, his nose was filled with a wonderful aroma, which definitely wouldn't flow in his room.

"Mmh..." someone groaned behind Lugia, and he nearly stopped breathing at the sound, before carefully turning his head and seeing whom the groan originated from.

Ho-oh. And aside from the sheet (which they were sharing) she didn't seem to wear anything, much like himself. Lugia started sweating profusely, as if Ho-oh woke up in this situation, he would become an ex-legend following an unfortunate "accident". _If I can just carefully get out of the bed, sneak out without waking her I might ju- Ack!_ Lugia's planning was interrupted by an arm clinging onto him, all the while Ho-oh snuggling up to him, something big pressing against his back. _SO SOFT!_ He almost screamed, but managed to keep his mouth shut, all while feeling blood slowly dripping from his nose.

Once more, he tried to wriggle out of the bed, but at almost every movement Ho-oh risked awaking, to which Lugia ceased moving. _Is this how I die?_ He asked himself, _Death by angry legendary or death by loss of blood, and I still have no idea how I ended up here in the first place..._

Doing the only thing he could think of, Lugia prayed to Arceus that Ho-oh would be in a reasonable mood when she awoke, at least so she would listen to his pleas for mercy.

While Lugia was praying, Ho-oh could barely restrain a chuckle from escaping her lips. She had awoken a few hours earlier to find Lugia in her bed, and had actually deduced how and why: Hoopa and prank-attempt. Attempt, simply because she didn't mind what he had done.

In truth, for millenia, Ho-oh had hoped that Lugia would ask her out, but it had never happened, his insecurity due to her beauty made him back out at the last moment every time he attempted to talk to her. Thus, she would use Hoopa's 'prank' in her favor: she would act surprised and angry when she 'awoke', and when Lugia would beg for forgiveness (for something that wasn't his fault) she would demand that he took him out to a movie and dinner as an 'apology'. But before that, she would enjoy snuggling a few more minutes.

And what of the 'great prankster'? He grunted at how the situation had developed. Hoopa had hoped that Ho-oh would starting yelling profanities and throwing things after Lugia when she awoke, but nope! Nothing of the sort. "Bummer!" he said to himself. Before floating away. "Hmm... I wonder what would happen if I did this to Mewtwo and Mew... or maybe Arceus and Giratina... oh! Or maybe Reshiram and Zekrom! So many choices... ah, whatever, I'll do all of them! Hehahaha~"

 **Um... yeah... I know this is tagged as "humor", yet this chapter wasn't particularly funny, was it? I'm sorry...**

 **Anyway, Annabella Lucy Nox requested that I do something with "Hoopa pranking the other legends with his rings". This came to mind, and I did find it funny at first. Now that the chapter is done, I'm not sure...**


	6. The Swords of Justice and Meloetta

**BlazingBlueFire14 asked me to do a chapter regarding any trio with what's going to happen in this chapter, however primary trios (or at least their masters) from all six regions have had their own chapter. As such, I made this with the focus on the Swords of Justice, I hope you don't mind that, Blaze!**

* * *

The Hall of Origins is massive, and Arceus made sure to include whatever the legends could need or want (and would later add whatever she'd missed when it was requested). And right now, we find the primary members of the Swords of Justice in the break room. Even while 'resting' in the hall, they keep training themselves, both in poke- and human form, much to Arceus' chagrin, since they are supposed to take it easy while here, but in the end, it is their choice.

All of a sudden, Keldeo enters the room, finally having finished his training (albeit he hadn't trained harder than the others: he was just late at getting started, having overslept, much to Cobalion's irritation) "Hey, Cobalion?"

"..." the Iron Will pokemon was adamant in not answering due to the Colt pokemon's tardiness.

"Are you still angry? I did apologize!"

"..."

"Argh... hey, Terrakion?"

"'Sup, kid?" the Cavern pokemon answers leisurely.

"I just can't help but ask... does the Swords of Justice have a leader akin to the legendary trios of other regions?"

Virizon came out to join the discussion, originally wanting to dry her hair after the shower but considered this topic to be more interesting. "Actually, I'd like to know that, too."

"You don't know either, Virizon?" Keldeo asked, almost flabbergasted at the notion.

Terrakion just sat and wondered what to answer. Cobalion is the de facto leader of the group, but he's not considered the trio leader (or maybe quartet leader...).

"Is that why you were late to training today? You were up all night, pondering on such a trivial matter?" Cobalion asked with a neutral face, but his voice was anything but friendly.

"Cut the kid some slack, Cob, Arceus has stated that we're supposed to rest while we're here! If anything, we're the ones in the wrong!"

"I wasn't talking to you, Terrakion, and what's with the 'Cob'? Refer to me as Cobalion or Leader, lest I shall take it as either an insult or a challenge to my authority."

"Oh~? And what if I -do- challenge your 'authority'? Watcha gon' do 'bout it?" the last part Terrakion added just to spite Cobalion, as he hated such way of speaking.

Cobalion rose from his seat and stared at Terrakion on the other side of the table. "You would do well to remember that -I- am the leader for a reason! The Swords of Justice exist to protect the weak, as such we have no room for weakness. I accepted Keldeo into our ranks because of his great sense of justice, but if he cannot keep up with us, I will expell him as I will not allow him to be a burden."

This made Terrakion angry, as he liked the youngster. Angry rambling or not, he would not let this slide. "Oh yeah? And you would expell me or Virizon as well if we were unable to keep up with you, is that it?"

"Guys, calm down!" Virizon tried to quell the fighting, but the fires of anger had burned too long already.

"If you would become a burden I would leave you both behind and start from scratch without hesitation. Justice doesn't work with good will alone."

Terrakion had had enough and literally pounced Cobalion, jumping over the table while doing so. The two of them took on their pokemon forms and began fighting, breaking the various furniture in the room. Various attacks flew around, but one particular attack destroyed the wall to the room on the other side. Keldeo and Virizon noticed that -something- was destroyed by either the attack or the falling wall in the process.

Virizon was normally the calm one, but with the sense of impending doom, she roared with a voice unbefitting of a woman " **STOP FIGHTING AT ONCE!** "

Both Terrakion and Cobalion stoppped in their tracks and stared at her in wonder. Virizon -never- raised her voice like that.

"Look at what your fighting has done!" she said, pointing at the destroyed wall.

Terrakion just stared in confusion. "Uh-huh? Arceus can fix the wall, no problems."

"It's not the wall you lumbering boulder, it's what was behind it!"

The duo looked at what Virizon was pointing at, and their faces paled. Meloettas karaoke machine. Their collective thought was _'oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit'_.

"Let me take a look, maybe I can fix it!" Keldeo said hopefully, and went over to it. But it's not really possible to 'fix' something that's been crushed by a wall.

Virizon, meanwhile, had a bright idea. "I'll go see if I can find Celebi. You three wait here and prevent Meloetta from finding out."

The trio of men nodded, and starting working on the wall and trying to hide the now flat machine. A sound of humming chilled them to the bone, because only Meloetta hums like that. The trio stared at each other, and ran to different positions, with Terrakion and Cobalion trying to stand in front of the machine while Keldeo left the room to try to intercept Meloetta.

"Oh, Meloetta! Fancy meeting you here, eh heh heh..."

"Why, hello there, Keldeo. Training hard as always?"

"Huh? Er, yeah..."

"Why don't you take a break? I was thinking of singing and I would love to have a audience."

"Sure!"

"We can take turns with my karaoke machine and-"

"NO!"

"Huh?"

"Uh... I mean... why don't we do it in the hall's dining hall? I'm sure everyone would enjoy hearing you sing while eating lunch!"

"Oh, sure!"

The two left and the remaining of the Swords of Justice breathed a sigh of relief. A few mínutes later, Virizon returned with Celebi.

"Alright, alright, what needs fixing?"

The three swords pointed at the machine.

Celebi merely looked at Virizon with a raised brow. "The way you were talking, it sounded like it would be the end of the world if it weren't fixed soon. So why's this so important?"

"It's Meloetta's."

"Mhm? Why don't you just apologize?"

"OH H*LL NO!" the three said in unison.

"Why not? What's the worse that could happen?"

"That she won't forgive us."

"Don't tell me you are scared of her..."

"Not of her..."

"Wuh...?"

"There was a rumor some time ago that floated around, and Keldeo managed to confirm it..."

"Ok?"

"There's a... certain legend in the hall that fancies Meloetta... like, -really- fancies her. And if he hears that we made her cry because we destroyed her favorite karaoke machine, death would be preferable to what he would do to us."

"Who are you even talking about?"

"...Mewtwo..."

Even Celebi gulped at that. Mewtwo was -not- someone you angered without regretting it. With a bit of time travelling, making sure to avoid paradoxes and doom-causing changes, Celebi returned with the machine in a prime state. "But you know, you -should- apologize, now that the machine is fixed and all."

"No way."

"Nuh-uh."

"I'd rather not."

Celebi sighed. "Suit yourselves."

Despite their best efforts, Meloetta somehow found out that they had broken her machine. Keldeo seemed guilty when Meloetta returned, and only Cobalion and Terrakion got punished by Mewtwo in the following week. The punishment was light, seeing as they tried to fix it, but that didn't change the fact that Mewtwo was -very- thorough...

* * *

 **Not gonna lie... I made Cobalion out to be a douchebag, simply because of the struggle he gave me in ORAS when I tried to capture him... goddamn thing had 1 hp from False Swipe, on top of being paralyzed AND I brought out my level 100 Mewtwo for the sake of making his situation feel hopeless (I don't know if it's true, but I just have the feeling that capturing becomes slightly easier if the wild pokemon is up against a stronger foe), yet I spent 30 Ultra Balls and 14 Timer Balls before he FINALLY got caught...**


	7. Victini and the Forces of Nature

"Speech"

 _Thought_

" _Telepathy"_

* * *

Landorus shot a quick glance at his brothers, Tornadus and Thundurus, both of whom nodded back. Everything was in place, their plan was infallible. Today was the day their hated arch-enemy would suffer absolute and total defeat!

...Yet, Landorus couldn't help but feel that something was wrong. Oh so very wrong. Looking through everything, he finally realized what was wrong. _I don't have it!_ Landorus was overcome with worry, and glanced at Tornadus, who realized what was wrong, and came to the same conclusion. _He doesn't have 'it' either._

Both of them looked at Thundurus, and the Bolt Strike pokemon shook his head. A vital mistake normally, but at this point, the Forces of Nature realized they were screwed unless a miracle occured. Yet all of them knew, the one who had lady luck's favour was the one in front of them.

Victini noticed the trio stared at him, all of them sweating profusely. At first, he didn't do anything to confirm their fears, as if ignorant to their plight. Landorus was about to breathe a sigh in relief…

...When Victini suddenly sported a massive grin, raised his hand and slammed it on the table!

"Four of a Kind. I guess that means I win, unless either of you happen to have a Straight or Royal Flush?

The trio despaired at his question, and Victini took that as his que to grab the pot, with no less than fifty thousand poke.

Meanwhile, Landorus couldn't believe it. They had all focused so desperately on getting a Royal Flush, while Victini had leisurely gotten a Four of a Kind, using all the kings. Without a king, a Royal Flush became impossible. If either of them had realized sooner, they would've scrambled for a straight flush instead.

"Damn you Victini! This isn't over, you hear me! I don't care how long it'll take, I **WILL** defeat you one day, mark my words!"

"You're starting to sound like a b-movie villain, Landorus. But go ahead, I accept any game challenge, anytime, anyplace." Victini answered with a big grin before leaving the room and heading towards the Hall's shop, where he would spend all earnings on candy.

* * *

 **BlazingBlueFire14, Annabella Lucy Nox, UCCMaster**

 **I'm sorry this isn't what the three of you requested (that is, Victini playing poker with the Regis, and Victini playing Monopoly, respectively), as well as it being not so much of actually playing the game, but this is my reasoning:**

 **While certainly, I haven't written anything about the Regis so far, I've wanted to write about the Forces of Nature for awhile, and it became difficult to write about the Regis reactions in poker (that is, they always have a pokerface, and that's cheating).**

 **Also, about it not being much of actual poker-playing: I don't know jack(pot)sh*t of poker. I've never played it, nor will I since I dislike gambling. So, it became like this instead, I hope the three of you don't mind too much.**

 **And then, to any other readers, followers or no: I'm sorry for not updating in… forever? I have no excuse for that, except that I'm lazy a**. At times, I had no inspiration, at times, I had no motivation, yet at times, I had no time: in the end, nothing happened. Now, I had all three, and decided to write this chapter no matter what, so I could finally put it behind me. Truth be told, I'm slightly against even posting this chapter, as it feels somewhat lackluster. All other chapters are relatively short, but this one is the shortest ever, and I don't think it's even remotely funny… I blame my lack of skill in the story-writing department.**


	8. The three Regis

"Speech"

 _Thought_

" _Telepathy"_

* * *

"I don't like it one bit." Regice stated.

Regirock woke from his sleep and looked at his fellow trio member drowsily. "What?"

"The new fairy typing, that's what!"

Registeel looked up from his book at Regice. "I don't understand what you're complaining about. It's not like ice is weak to fairy."

"No, but fairies are supposedly dragon hunters, not only being strong against them, but being totally immune to dragon energies!"

"...So?" Regirock asked.

"What do you mean, 'so?'? Don't you get it? We ice types have been regarded as one of the weakest types for so long already, our only saving grace is that we're strong against dragon and flying, which most of the stronger dragons tend to be. But now those fairies have appeared to be even better at taking down dragons, so we ice types serve little purpose anymore! Arceus hate us, I tell you!"

"You're overreacting," Registeel said, "there is no 'weakest' or 'strongest', that's where strengths and weaknesses come into play. Arceus created the fairy typing since she thought dragons were too strong and needed a natural enemy."

Regice snorted. "You sure it isn't because she's been watching too much of that Fairy Tail anime?

Registeel thought about it. "It's a possibility, but Arceus refuse to admit or deny it.

"Besides, it's Taurus-shit!" Regice yelled. "Have you seen the power of Moonblast? 95! And it can be used 15 times in a row! Ice Beam only has 90 with 10 uses! Then there's Flamethrower, 90 power but 15 uses! Now tell me Arceus doesn't hate ice types!"

Registeel and Regirock just stared and Regice. "Don't tell me you're talking about the pokemon games?"

"So what if I am?"

Regirock grunted before turning back to sleep. "Idiot."

* * *

 **Looking at my reviews for the story, I saw UCCMaster had another request, and I thought: why not?**


	9. The Legendary Birds and Beasts

"Speech"

 _Thought_

" _Telepathy"_

* * *

"Where in the Distortion World is he?!" the cloaked figure yelled. The room is dark with six seats, but one is vacant.

"Probably got lost on the way, you know how Suicune is. But seriously Moltres, why are we cloaked in a dark room in the abandoned wing?" Zapdos asked as he tore of his cloak. "This thing is too tight…"

"And on that note, why -is- there an abandoned wing in the hall?" Entei inquired.

"Mew wanted it." Moltres answered. "And for your question, Zapdos, it's so that we can prepare for our uprising in peace and quiet."

A knock on the door had everyone prepare for combat, until Suicune entered. "Sorry I'm late, had to find the right room."

"Finally, we're all gathered."

"So, what's the plan, Moltres?" Entei asked the supposed leader of the gathering.

"Oh, it's actually pretty simple." Moltres grinned. "You are aware that Ho-oh is in love with Lugia, right?"

"Duh, the only one who -doesn't- know is Lugia himself. But what of it?" Raikou asked.

"Well, I heard from Hoopa that Ho-oh and Lugia are going on a date. So, while they're being all happy and unsuspecting, we'll strike!"

Entei looked unconvinced. "That's a tad too simple. Why won't Ho-oh just mop the floor with us?"

At this, Moltres smiled creepily. "Simple. She doesn't want Lugia to see her violent side. So, we six overwhelm Lugia quickly, take him hostage and make our demands."

"…I'm still having doubts about this, but it's all we have." Entei sighed. "Alright. When will the plan happen?"

"Tomorrow."

* * *

 **Next day**

* * *

"Restaurant Le Wow?" Ho-oh asked in surprise as they stood in front of the entrance.

"Is- is it not good enough?" Lugia whispered nervously to her, as he didn't want to insult the staff.

"Are you kidding? It's the most famous restaurant in Kalos aside from Sushi High Roller that's reserved for the Champion and nobles. It's also very expensive."

"Oh. Well, I wanted to make sure you had a great time, so I spared no expenses, as an apology for… you know, last week…"

Ho-oh groaned inwardly. _He's more into making this 'date' as an apology instead of realizing I want this because I like him. Why did I have to fall in love with the most dense legendary in the hall?!_ "Don't worry, let's just go in."

On the other side of the street, a group of six followed them with their eyes. "This complicates things…"

"No kidding Moltres, we won't be able to enter that place!" Entei complained. "Now what? Hey wait, where's Suicune?"

Zapdos pointed at the entrance. "He's there!"

Suicune waved for the others to come over.

The bouncer looked at the group of five. "Sir… Sune, is it?"

Suicune nodded. "That's me, and this is my group."

The bouncer looked at them once more. "I'm afraid I can't let them enter."

Moltres looked insulted. "And why not?"

"Sir, this is a place for fine dining, not a buffet for homeless. If you enter dressed like that, you'll give our restaurant a bad name."

 _If you knew that we were legendaries in human disguise you'd beg to let us enter!_ "So it's fine if we come back with proper attire?"

"Certainly."

* * *

 **Meanwhile, inside**

* * *

Ho-oh stared in amazement. "You hired the private area? Just how much did this cost?!"

Lugia smiled sheepishly. "Only the best for today."

The waiters pulled out the chairs for Lugia and Ho-oh, but they didn't leave a menu.

"Huh? How are we supposed to choose if we don't have a menu?" Ho-oh asked.

"Ah, I've already fixed that as well." Lugia stated.

The waiters nodded and left.

* * *

 **Later, outside**

* * *

"How about now?" Moltres asked the bouncer.

"…Yes, that'll suffice." The bouncer grunted in affirmation.

"I sure hope so, because after this, I'm broke."

The bouncer snorted but said nothing.

* * *

 **Back at Lugia and Ho-oh**

* * *

"What a marvellous dinner this has been, Lugia. How'd you know what to order for me?"

Lugia coughed embarrassedly. "I, uh, asked someone for help." _Arceus more specifiably. She knows everything about her children, after all…_

"Well, give my thanks to whoever you asked."

"Will do. But before we leave, there's… something I'd like to… erm, say."

Ho-oh looked at Lugia in wonder. He had been acting very different for a while now. If she didn't know better, she'd think he would confess his love or something. "Go on."

"Well, we've known each other for a long time, and more recently, I've realized something."

Ho-oh's eyes widened. _No way, is he…?!_

Lugia gulped as he continued. "I'd just like to say, that I… I really…"

"Yes?"

"I like… no I-I-I… I need to go to the bathroom!" Lugia suddenly exclaimed and ran away.

Meanwhile, Ho-oh couldn't believe what he had heard. _He was about to say 'I like' then changed it. It couldn't be, he was going to say he l_ _ove_ _me?!_

After a few minutes, Ho-oh grew impatient. But then, a waiter arrived with a letter. "For you, ma'am."

"Thank you?" She asked before she read the letter. [We have Lugia. Come to the dark alley behind Le Wow, or else] Ho-oh could feel her blood boil. _Those three, they bother me now of all times?!_ Of course, she wasn't aware that Lugia's trio was in on this as well, but it wouldn't matter. The phoenix had been angered.

* * *

 **Outside**

* * *

"Why are you doing this, Moltres?" Lugia asked in confusion as he found himself tied up next to a garbage can.

"Because we're tired of being considered lesser legendaries! After today, Arceus will see that we are better than you and Ho-oh!"

Entei groaned. "You sound like a b-film villain, Moltres…"

"So, you guys were here…"

Everyone turned to see Ho-oh standing in the alley. She could barely contain her fury, as per Moltres idea, she didn't want to be violent in front of Lugia. But still, she smiled sweetly as she saw Lugia's trio. More specifically, Articuno.

"Articuno, could I ask you something?"

"Yeah?"

"Unless I remember correctly, didn't you owe me a favour?"

Articuno started to sweat slightly, but tried to play dumb. "I did? Why?"

"Oh, I don't know, didn't you have this deep, dark secret you'd never let anyone know?"

Articuno gulped. "I-I don't know what you're talking about…!"

Ho-oh grinned, and spelled it out with her lips, and Articuno paled. "How…!"

"I wonder what the hall would think if it spread."

"No…!"

"What is she on about?" Moltres asked, but Articuno ignored him, almost down on his knees.

"Don't say it!"

"I won't, but you must do something for me in return."

"What?"

Ho-oh pointed at Lugia. "Freeze."

Lugia didn't draw the dots, and suddenly, he was frozen solid.

The other five stared at Articuno. "What have you done?!"

Ho-oh grinned. "He spared himself from the worst part of the torture the five of you will suffer from!"

* * *

 **Next day**

* * *

"Fractures, broken bones, concussions, extreme blood loss… what in the world happened to them, Ho-oh?!" Celebi asked.

"I don't know, I found them like this!" Ho-oh exlaimed(lied).

"Well, it's a good thing you brought them to me, I'll literally fix them up in no time."

Ho-oh nodded and went to Lugia's room.

"How are you feeling?"

Lugia groaned in the bed. "Better. Feels like I've frozen solid or something."

"Oh, a pokémon battle went haywire and a Glaceon hit you with an Ice Beam."

"I see."

"Enough about that, what'd you want to tell me?"

Lugia looked confused. "Tell you?"

"Yes, back at Le Wow. You wanted to tell me something before you had to go to the bathroom."

"Le Wow? I haven't been there in years."

"Lugia, we were there yesterday. You wanted to apologize for what happened last week? In my bedroom?"

Lugia just stared, not comprehending what Ho-oh talked about, until Celebi entered the room. "Lugia suffers from amnesia following being frozen solid. He's all but forgotten the whole week's events."

"But it'll return, right? Right?!" Ho-oh asked desperately.

Celebi shook her head. "No way to tell. It might return in an hour, it might never return."

"I see. Yes, it makes sense. Thank you Celebi." Ho-oh said before stiffly leaving the room. After the door closed, they heard a yell and a wall breaking down.

Lugia just looked at Celebi. "Is she angry?"

"I assume so, but not at you, that I can guarantee."

"Huh… ok…"

* * *

 **This chapter was brought to you all by the request of LitelySaltedVex.**

 **Alright people, help me out here. Give me suggestions! Ideas! Seriously, just tell me something you'd like to see happen! While I won't make every single thing happen, and I'm a slow writer so it might take time before it's up, it feels like I've only done the wishes of BlazingBlueFire14(aside from an occasional request from others here and there).**


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